Stop Trying to Kill Your Soul to Kill Your Sin: A Training in Self-Discipline Part 4
So then, what does real change require? It requires more than stopping. It requires training. The next step is practical. In the last essays, we have been clearing up misconceptions. We have seen that the problem is not our humanity itself, and that growth does not come by trying to mutilate or amputate the powers God built into us. But even after that correction, many people still make the same practical mistake. They think self-discipline is mostly a matter of saying no. No to the urge, no to the habit, no to the appetite, no to the impulse. Sometimes that no is necessary. But human beings were not made to live on bare negation. When you take something away, you create a space, and that space has to be filled with something better. So the next step is not mere refusal. It is redirection. It is training the soul’s powers toward what is true, good, and life-giving.
A lot of people try to change by making war not just on the behaviors and temperaments they know need changing, but on themselves.
They get serious about sin, which is good. They get tired of the same failures, which is also good. They feel convicted. They want to stop living in circles. So they start saying no. No to the habit. No to the craving. No to the screen. No to the drink. No to the flirting. No to the outburst. No to the fantasy. No to the laziness. No to the comfort. No to the appetite.
That is not wrong. Sometimes the first faithful word a person needs to say is no.
But many people stop there.
They think if they just deny enough, cut enough, clamp down enough, they will become holy. They think the whole Christian life is one long tightening of the jaw. One long starvation of desire. One long campaign of subtraction. So they become people who are always trying to empty themselves without knowing what should fill the space.
And then they wonder why their spiritual life feels dry, flat, and exhausting.
It feels that way because human beings were not made to live on bare negation. The soul cannot thrive on “don’t” alone. A person can quit a habit and still not be healed. A person can stop one behavior and still be inwardly starving. A person can say no to sin and still never learn how to say yes to love, truth, worship, courage, patience, service, beauty, or joy.
That is why so many people relapse. They sweep the house but leave it empty.
